I'm a Southern Belle...redefined. I am a dreamer. As a child I talked to the Man in the Moon. It was an outlet for my thoughts, poems, and lyrics. You are now my Man in the Moon.
So it's almost Christmas and I hope you are having a wonderful holiday. Oh my goodness it just dawned on me you could be an elf! You could be Santa's son! I wonder if he and Mrs Claus had children?! If you're Santa's son hitch a ride on the sleigh this Christmas! What are you waiting for? I watched couples shopping together today and imagined what that will be like with you. My grandfather always found a bench to people watch while my grandmother and I shopped. I wonder if you'll be the same way. I've been baking holiday goodies and I imagine you sneaking in to grab a treat here and there....and maybe my baked goods too 😛. I plan to get out this weekend because I feel like you're tucked away in the crowds somewhere and I'm just never going to get to you if I don't get out of this house. Maybe this weekend is it. Maybe we will finally lock eyes for the first time. Maybe I will hear the name I will one day share. Whether it be this weekend or another 3 years from now I just know in my heart that when it happens there will be no question that we found each other. I get so frustrated and exhausted at the thought of dating and I know I can't be that way or I will never get to you. I just pray that God intervenes and sends you to me without me having to go trough everything I've gone through over the last few years. Sometimes I wonder if I saw your face via Skype for months while you were deployed. I wonder if that last call was the voice of my soulmate. I wonder if you're my angel waiting for me in heaven. God knows I've wondered if you were him many times. If that's so all I ask is for God to lay it on my heart and I will never love another man again. Sweetheart wherever you are and whoever you are just know I pray for you. My heart is full of joy and I'm not lonely. I have faith that when the time is right God will reveal you to me and until that moment just know I claim blessings over you. I pray that your days are filled with people who edify and guide you. I pray that you are surrounded by Christian friends and family who love you. I pray for God's protection over you day and night. I pray that you seek the Lord with all of your heart and prepare yourself to be the leader I know you are. I claim that you are highly favored and chosen. You are respectable and live a life of integrity. I love you.
So I know it's been a while and I was going to keep my prayer journal online and I still plan to do that. To be honest no pressing issues have come up to log into a prayer journal. I have just been thankful for my blessings. I really want to reserve it to show how God moves when we ask him for things or to move in our lives. It's no secret I do pray for my future husband daily. When I say I pray for him I am not praying that God will send him because I already know he's out there. I am praying for his needs and his happiness. I am praying for his family as they will be mine someday. I pray that he will be the role model that my boys deserve. I also pray for his heart. I pray that he isn't broken when he finds me. I pray that he will be emotionally available with no distance or timing issues to overcome.
As I read posts on social media I realize that dating has evolved into something that is so jaded. People are so guarded because they've been hurt. They want to love so bad it hurts them just as bad but they can't bring themselves to open up again. Some are so riddled with guilt they don't think they deserve to be loved. Others pretend to be guarded when they know all to well that they wear their hearts on their sleeve. It's a facade. The truth is whether our walls are real or fictitious they come crumbling down when the right one comes along. When I say "right" I don't necessarily mean "the one". I am generally speaking about people who enchant us. People who move us and fill us with hope whether we want it or not. We are helpless to it all. What happens when these people get too close? We start finding reasons to run. It's better to dig for it early on than wait for the disappointment when we are fully invested right? We have all been guilty.
I see posts from women who market themselves as strong independent ladies who "don't need a man just want one". They post their feminism political agendas. They shout gender equality. They want a man who is willing to do this or that because they think they're entitled to what they want in a man like anyone else is. I disagree with these women. I am opposed to the feminist movement. I think the feminist movement is one of the biggest culprits in the dating world today. Women want to be able to be slutty and sleep around without the double standard simply because men do it. Women want to be on the front line in the military and hold the same job titles as men. Women want to demand all these things that are unnatural. They feel this way because somewhere along the line they have been let down by a man they trusted whether they're conscious of it or not. If they want all these things then why are there special rules given to these women in the military and jobs? You can't have it both ways ladies.
Men are afraid to compliment me, open the door for me, pay for a date because of the feminist movement. They are becoming accustomed to women who prefer this treatment. My desire to be courted is something of the past and it isn't how things are supposed to be. Men are designed to protect and provide. They are made to lead. They thrive on respect, appreciation, and support. Women are designed to nurture, submit/follow, and support. I am not saying every man deserves this respect. I am not saying women aren't capable. I am very intelligent and I am very capable to take care of myself.
Christian men who know their role as a man will love God more than a woman. He will obey him and follow him. Christian women who know their role as a woman will love God more than a man. She will seek him first in everything and obey him. She will submit to him to meet all of her needs. She is to seek a man like this. That man is worthy of respect, appreciation and support. If he is obedient to God then submitting to this man is obeying God as well. Just because you submit doesn't mean you aren't capable. It means you love and respect your spouse to be the leader of the home. When you allow him to rise to his potential in this way his needs will always be met. He will feel like a man. He will thrive and lead your family. You may not always agree with him but you respect and support him regardless. You pray for him daily and encourage him. He will adore you for this and your needs will be met as a woman.
I am not saying you have to quit your job and stay home raising babies. Times have changed and if it requires that both spouses work then so be it. When I say gender roles I mean the Lead/follow roles. If you make a man feel like the only man alive when he comes home then he will want to be there. Both spouses should live selflessly and put God first in everything. When you discuss issues it should be at the table in the kitchen and not your bedroom. Your bedroom should be reserved for alone time and intimacy. It should be where you both hold one another and pray together. Greet him at the end of the day with a hug and a kiss. Cook for him and run his bath or shower. Throw his towel in the dryer so its warm when he steps out. Massage him and let him relax. When he wants to be alone don't follow him. Don't nag. Once you tell him something he knows. If there is a honey do list then write it on a chalkboard in the kitchen and allow him the time to work on things as he can and praise him for it when he does. Never disrespect him especially in public. If you disagree then you save it until you are alone. Be open with intimacy to explore things he enjoys. Make him a priority. Do the things you did to win his heart and never stop. You are too tired to have sex? Then you need to rearrange your priorities and cut something out so that you aren't too tired for your husband. Tell him how proud you are that he provides for your family. Tell him how much your appreciate his faithfulness and dedication to you. Tell him that you respect how he always puts you and the family ahead of his needs. Tell him how safe he makes you feel.
If you want a man like this then make a list of what you are looking for in a spouse. Read your bible and seek God. He will show you what a Godly man looks like. When you are dating look for character traits in the actions not just the charming words you hear. If a man walks up to you and asks you out then he is assertive and brave. He knew the risk of rejection was there but rather than being cowardly he faced it because he was interested in you. Allow a man to open a door for you and take you on a real date. Allow him to pick you up and drop you off. Get back to the anxious feeling of a goodnight kiss. Look forward to flowers and love notes. It's not about a chase its about a man who is willing to pursue you as Christ did. When he opens the door and lets you in then lean over and open his from the inside. When he pays for dinner or a movie thank him for the wonderful evening. When he shows up with flowers brag on him for being so thoughtful. Allow him to be the man he was designed to be. Show him what it feels like to meet those expectations in a woman. He will feel like a respected gentlemen and you will feel like an adored princess.
You are after all a princess and he is after all your prince charming because you are both children of the King. If you seek him first and obey him in all that you do then you will live happily ever after.
I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving wherever you were! I also hope that you are a Mississippi State fan and are somewhere cheering them on in the egg bowl! It's ok if you aren't...I don't expect you to be PERFECT. I am decorating the house for Christmas and I was just hanging our stockings. I think I will hang an extra one for you this year just so you know that I haven't given up hope. I hope you aren't mad at me for listening to that jerkface when he told me that he was you! I totally think you should beat him up for impersonating you. You should be proud to know that I put God first and kept my focus on him through all of that and he protected my heart for you. I realize now that people will use my faith and anything else to get to me for whatever reason. As long as I keep my eyes on what is important I don't have to worry about that. I find myself wondering what you are doing right now. Are you mixing a drink and talking with your friends? Are you driving and getting lost in a song? Are you working and counting down the hours until you're home? Are you ringing your cowbell? That's it isnt it? I knew it! ;) Wherever you are I hope that you know I still pray for you and your family whatever you may be doing and wherever you may be. I pray in detail. I pray for your thoughts and your faith. I pray for whatever ails you. I pray that your family and friends support whatever it is that you are doing with your life. I pray that you think of me and what I may look like or what I may be doing. I pray that you have peace knowing that I'm not rushing into and out of whirlwind romances just for the sake of loneliness. I hope you know that I'm waiting patiently but expectantly to kiss your face. Until that day comes please keep your faith in me.
Good afternoon darling. I hope your Sunday is treating you well. I want you to know that I still pray for you everyday. I know God is blessing you and I have faith that you know who I am. God has laid it on my heart to tell you that you are safe with me. Your heart is something I plan to take very good care of because I intend on exchanging yours with mine. I want to love you past your pain. I want to be the place you call home. I want to pray for you and hold you until every doubt disappears. It isn't easy allowing yourself to be vulnerable especially when your heart has been broken but we all come from a place of brokenness. It is through God's love and infinite grace that we are made whole again. I will never disrespect you. I will never let hateful words escape my lips. I will never be dishonest. I will always be loyal to you and grateful for you. I will always tell you how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate all you do. I will support you and lift you up when you feel tired. I will hold you close to me when you need rest. God blesses us in countless ways. He often blesses us by sending people into our lives to meet the needs we have. I want to know you and I want to be that blessing for you. I pray that when you find me that you wont be afraid. I pray that you will not doubt me. I pray that you will not distance yourself from me. If you run I will still be here praying for you. If you are scared then I will wait patiently until you know that I will not bring you any harm. Take your time sweetheart. You've certainly waited this long to find me ;) I am used to waiting on you by now. Until then just know I am praying for you and I live with expectancy.
1 John 4:18-19
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.
So on facebook this morning I shared a post from 2 years ago through the "On this day app". It was the music video of Chris Sligh singing "Empty Me" which I have shared for you below. The song has always moved me especially when he sings "cause everything is a lesser thing compared to you compared to you". We are to empty ourselves of anything that hinders us from fully submitting our lives to God and ask to be filled with him.
Tonight at church we went over what it means to really "Follow Jesus". We can't follow him on our terms we have to follow him on his terms. We have to be willing to sacrifice anything that he asks of us to follow him. We have to follow him unconditionally. We read Luke 9:57-62 and I have broken these verses down for you in red.
Luke 9:57-62New International Version (NIV)
The Cost of Following Jesus
57 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”
58 Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”
The man is saying I will follow you where you go and Jesus is saying to him "Oh really? Will you give up the comforts of your home and your life? I am homeless. Will you really go ANYWHERE I go? Are you really willing to do without for me?
59 He said to another man, “Follow me.”
But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
60 Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”
Keep in mind here that Jesus knew the hearts of people and their minds. He knew where their hearts really were and where their priorities and motives lie. Jesus knew that this man was really going home to wait for his father to die so he could reap his inheritance. Jesus was telling him that he must devote himself to eternal things not earthly things. He needed to focus on what God wants him to do rather than what he wants to do.
61 Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”
62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
Jesus is talking about divided loyalties here. Plowmen required focusing their attention straight ahead so that the crop rows were straight. If they were to look back they would lose control of the oxen and plow. Jesus needs for us to be focused on him at all times and not on other things. The loyalty must be undivided. He is first.
A really difficult task would be to take an inventory of your terms in regards to following Jesus. Ask ourselves "WHO'S TERMS AM I LIVING BY?" Make a list titled "Would I follow Jesus if..." then list difficult situations. Don't just list the ones you know you'd be willing to sacrifice but list the ones you are trying to tuck away. Remember Jesus knows our hearts. I am not saying he will demand these things of us but if you're heart is truly willing to follow him and say "no matter what I will follow you" then he will grant the desires of your heart. He knows.
The purpose for this is found in Luke 9: 23-25
23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.25 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?
If we choose to follow him we must give up our life to him. We have to be willing to pay the cost to follow him because he paid the ultimate cost. He gave his life for us so that we may eternal life. The only way to that eternal life is by following Jesus Christ. We follow him on his terms. You see its a trade. He died for us therefore we should die to ourselves for him. His will before our desires. He is a God of abundance and he wants to bless us. He doesn't want us to be miserable or do without. We simply must be willing to take up that cross and do without should he ever ask us to. That is what fully submitting is. That is trusting in him.
Just this week I was talking to this amazing man in my life about the ropes course with the fire department. He made the statement that it's all about trusting your equipment to not let you fall. That my friends is called faith. When you go to sit down in a chair you don't test it first. You just sit down with the faith that it will hold you up. When you wake up in the morning and place your feet on the floor you don't test it to make sure it will withstand your weight. You stand. We must put this same faith in God and trust that what he says is the voice of truth. This is a matter of life and death. Eternal life or eternal damnation. He is worth the cost. The value of following Jesus is worth everything because without him we will die anyway. That is what Luke 9:23-25 is telling us. If we try to hold on to our lives (living for self) then we will lose it. If we follow Jesus then we will have life in eternity. That is the treasure.
Phillippians 3: 8-9 tells us that everything is a lesser thing compared to Jesus. Just like the song I posted this morning...God is revealing his truth to me by reiterating it in this lesson
8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.
Where your treasure is there your heart will follow Matthew 6:21 **Jesus is our treasure
Read these Parables in Matthew 13
The Parables of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl
44 “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.
45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls.46 When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.
If Jesus is our treasure then we will follow him. This is further explained by the parables in Matthew 13: 44-46. These people gave up EVERYTHING to possess the treasure they found. That is what we are to do to possess Jesus Christ (our Treasure) (Life).
Jesus will not share us and he should not have to. He sacrificed his life because he loves us just that much. There is nothing of more value than him. Everything is a lesser thing compared to him so I surrender all. Empty me of me so I can be filled with you!
I feel that you are near. I feel that God has revealed me to
you and you have set your conquest on my heart. I wait with expectancy and
validation. I will live each day with hopeful expectation of your arrival just
as I am waiting on the Lord. He has given me a new song to sing and my heart
tells me that you hear the melody within your soul. I know that you too are
praying for me daily and for that I am so very thankful. I will never allow a
day to pass without thanking God for bringing you into my life. I will never
let your head hit the pillow without telling you just how much you mean to me
and speaking positive encouragement over you. You will be the spiritual leader
of our home. You will protect us against anyone wishing to bring us harm. You
are protecting us now. Your altruistic character shines through your career and
I am so very proud of you. A man who would selflessly lay down his life to protect
the freedoms of the ungrateful is a man after God’s own heart and darling I can
sing your praises from the rooftops. You love the Lord with all that is within
you. You love him more than you will love me and I will serve you as I serve
him. I will submit to you as God has commanded me to and I will honor you and
love you with all that I am second only to God. I look forward to the mornings
we study God’s word together and pray over our family. I look forward to the
nights I lie in your arms. I look forward to our first date. I look forward to
our first kiss. I look forward to you. Until then I will be faithfully and
patiently awaiting your arrival.
I need to figure out how to deal with uncertainty. It is
essential to learn to live with it and life is full of uncertainty. Uncertainty
is a word that makes me shiver in fear. It is something I loathe. It cripples
me and paralyzes me because I don’t know whether to move forward or retreat
back into the safety of everything that is known. It’s like swimming at night
out into sea. You never know what is going to grab you and pull you beneath the
surface. What if I drown? It is like walking into the woods after dark looking
for something…you can’t see it, you have no idea where it could be, and you
never know what could happen to you. Uncertainty is the bride of fear. Uncertainty
in life is inevitable but uncertainty when it comes to relationships can be
removed with effort on our parts.
In my life I do everything in my power to relieve doubt and
uncertainty with those I care for. I always make them feel secure in where we
stand in regards to a relationship and how I feel about them. Open and raw
honesty is the antidote for uncertainty. It removes the doubt. It disables
over thinking. It grants peace and security. It is the opposite of fear.
I believe it is everyone’s place to extend this service to
those we care about. If everyone were honest about their intentions and
feelings then there would be no room for over analyzing and over reacting.
There would be no doubt and fear in our hearts. We would know we are safe to be
who we are because we know where we stand.
The sad thing is people do not divulge these things. They
tell us just enough or what we want to hear because they are either cowards who
do not want to risk looking like an ass for using us or they are too kind and
do not want to hurt us. The fact is they hurt us even more by leading us on. It
is best to hurt someone with the truth than destroy them with a lie. The truth
may hurt but it doesn’t harvest trust issues and it doesn’t leave room for
overthinking and analyzing. No one has to wonder what when wrong or what they could’ve
done differently. Everyone needs to have the courage to stand up for how they
feel and own up to any mistakes made in the process. So what if you look like
an ass…maybe you were one. You can’t walk away from every situation looking
innocent when you know in your heart you aren’t. Where is the integrity in
that? You can however be a man or a woman and own up to what you feel and share
that with someone knowing that regardless of the outcome you did what was
right. You gave them closure.
That is how I live my life. Good, bad or indifferent. People
say I wear my heart on my sleeve and that is how it gets broken time and time
again but I feel alive. I love with all I am. I know who I am and at the end of
the day when I lay my head down to sleep, I know that there is no doubt in any
one’s mind about how I feel about them. I have ran away in my past but I have
rectified the situations. I have bled my heart out for those who never loved me
in return. I have given pieces of me until I wasn’t sure if there was anything
left. The more love you give the more love overflows. It renews itself. Don’t
worry about how you will look or what someone will say. Be honest and give the
gift of certainty whether it is a declaration of your love or a painful
goodbye.
