Sunday, May 15, 2016
Dear future husband,
Good evening sweet potato! I hope all is well in your little corner of the world...wherever that may be. I hope it's safe to assume your corner of the world isn't in Alabama. If you're in Alabama then darlin I pray that you're the exception because my travels have taken me through places that make me consider the idea of controlled procreation. Honey I am all about football and having team spirit but those Alabama people take it to a whole other level. If you are from Alabama then please stop looking for me at your family reunion because you'll never get to me at that pace. Bless it.
I almost died this morning. YES. ALMOST DIED. I was driving down the Natchez Trace headed to a local brunch spot and there was an attractive jogger which may or may not have been you...well anywho...I was distracted by his manliness and the way the sunshine glistened off of his sweaty shoulders and out of nowhere BAM a deer ran out in front of me. I looked up just in time to slam on my brakes and was inches from Bambi III's significant other. I was like WHOA DOE! Actually it was more of a scream and then I cried thinking that could've been the moment I died. If that was you jogging then I hope you took a pic of my tag and plan on tracking me down this week.
Speaking of death...babe...I need to get into better shape. If I were murdered right now my chalk outline would be a circle. They would "throw dat ass in a circle"... ok I tickled myself on that one. For real though...I need to get with it. I was training for my first 5k and didn't go to it this weekend. Technically it was due to lack of funds but I definitely would've died had I gone. I always meet people when I go running...which is more like jogging..ok walking fast. The people I meet are usually paramedics or concerned neighbors asking why Im lying on the side of the road and warning me that may be struck by a car. I do however think being struck by a car would be less painful than running and you can just take that to the bank and cash it!
Well I've tried to be proactive about finding you. I am happy and content with my life but I do put myself out there on a little dating site. Sweetheart I just don't know what to think about society anymore. There are those that are super pushy and overwhelming who make me run away because they chase me. There are those that seem to throw more shade than an oak tree. There are those who seem to just like the idea of dating but are too preoccupied with window shopping. THEN there are the ones you can't make up if you tried. For example there is the military vet who led me to believe he had been deployed and just getting home only to find out he was a rapist who had just gotten out of prison which ended his military career. That is always comforting to find out AFTER dinner. There is also the one who seems absolutely normal and perfect on paper until a day before the date and don't answer my phone for an hour because Im at lunch with a girlfriend and I get back to my car to find 5 texts and 4 missed calls. The last one was cancelling date and using ugly words. Now what in the world am I supposed to do with options like that? Do you see what you've exposed me to?! Crazy does, cardio, sex offenders and psycho hot heads! Your punctuality problem is hardly a flaw after all of that!
As always I pray for your life and your heart daily. I pray that God blesses you and your family and that he guides you to be the man he wants you to be. I pray for your wisdom and discernment. I pray for your health and happiness. I pray for your walk with the Lord as he leads you so you may lead our family someday. I pray that you are surrounded with christian friends and family who uplift you and support you daily. Until I hold you in my arms I will continue to hold you in my heart.
Good night sweetheart!
Your future Wife
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