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Saturday, November 28, 2015

Feminism is blocking your Fairytale

So I know it's been a while and I was going to keep my prayer journal online and I still plan to do that. To be honest no pressing issues have come up to log into a prayer journal. I have just been thankful for my blessings. I really want to reserve it to show how God moves when we ask him for things or to move in our lives. It's no secret I do pray for my future husband daily. When I say I pray for him I am not praying that God will send him because I already know he's out there. I am praying for his needs and his happiness. I am praying for his family as they will be mine someday. I pray that he will be the role model that my boys deserve. I also pray for his heart. I pray that he isn't broken when he finds me. I pray that he will be emotionally available with no distance or timing issues to overcome.

As I read posts on social media I realize that dating has evolved into something that is so jaded. People are so guarded because they've been hurt. They want to love so bad it hurts them just as bad but they can't bring themselves to open up again. Some are so riddled with guilt they don't think they deserve to be loved. Others pretend to be guarded when they know all to well that they wear their hearts on their sleeve. It's a facade. The truth is whether our walls are real or fictitious they come crumbling down when the right one comes along. When I say "right" I don't necessarily mean "the one". I am generally speaking about people who enchant us. People who move us and fill us with hope whether we want it or not. We are helpless to it all. What happens when these people get too close? We start finding reasons to run. It's better to dig for it early on than wait for the disappointment when we are fully invested right? We have all been guilty.

I see posts from women who market themselves as strong independent ladies who "don't need a man just want one".  They post their feminism political agendas. They shout gender equality. They want a man who is willing to do this or that because they think they're entitled to what they want in a man like anyone else is. I disagree with these women. I am opposed to the feminist movement. I think the feminist movement is one of the biggest culprits in the dating world today. Women want to be able to be slutty and sleep around without the double standard simply because men do it. Women want to be on the front line in the military and hold the same job titles as men. Women want to demand all these things that are unnatural. They feel this way because somewhere along the line they have been let down by a man they trusted whether they're conscious of it or not. If they want all these things then why are there special rules given to these women in the military and jobs? You can't have it both ways ladies.

Men are afraid to compliment me, open the door for me, pay for a date because of the feminist movement. They are becoming accustomed to women who prefer this treatment. My desire to be courted is something of the past and it isn't how things are supposed to be. Men are designed to protect and provide. They are made to lead. They thrive on respect, appreciation, and support. Women are designed to nurture, submit/follow, and support. I am not saying every man deserves this respect. I am not saying women aren't capable. I am very intelligent and I am very capable to take care of myself.

Christian men who know their role as a man will love God more than a woman. He will obey him and follow him. Christian women who know their role as a woman will love God more than a man. She will seek him first in everything and obey him. She will submit to him to meet all of her needs. She is to seek a man like this. That man is worthy of respect, appreciation and support. If he is obedient to God then submitting to this man is obeying God as well. Just because you submit doesn't mean you aren't capable. It means you love and respect your spouse to be the leader of the home. When you allow him to rise to his potential in this way his needs will always be met. He will feel like a man. He will thrive and lead your family. You may not always agree with him but you respect and support him regardless. You pray for him daily and encourage him. He will adore you for this and your needs will be met as a woman.

I am not saying you have to quit your job and stay home raising babies. Times have changed and if it requires that both spouses work then so be it. When I say gender roles I mean the Lead/follow roles. If you make a man feel like the only man alive when he comes home then he will want to be there. Both spouses should live selflessly and put God first in everything. When you discuss issues it should be at the table in the kitchen and not your bedroom. Your bedroom should be reserved for alone time and intimacy. It should be where you both hold one another and pray together. Greet him at the end of the day with a hug and a kiss. Cook for him and run his bath or shower. Throw his towel in the dryer so its warm when he steps out. Massage him and let him relax. When he wants to be alone don't follow him. Don't nag. Once you tell him something he knows. If there is a honey do list then write it on a chalkboard in the kitchen and allow him the time to work on things as he can and praise him for it when he does. Never disrespect him especially in public. If you disagree then you save it until you are alone. Be open with intimacy to explore things he enjoys. Make him a priority. Do the things you did to win his heart and never stop. You are too tired to have sex? Then you need to rearrange your priorities and cut something out so that you aren't too tired for your husband. Tell him how proud you are that he provides for your family. Tell him how much your appreciate his faithfulness and dedication to you. Tell him that you respect how he always puts you and the family ahead of his needs. Tell him how safe he makes you feel.

If you want a man like this then make a list of what you are looking for in a spouse. Read your bible and seek God. He will show you what a Godly man looks like. When you are dating look for character traits in the actions not just the charming words you hear. If a man walks up to you and asks you out then he is assertive and brave. He knew the risk of rejection was there but rather than being cowardly he faced it because he was interested in you. Allow a man to open a door for you and take you on a real date. Allow him to pick you up and drop you off. Get back to the anxious feeling of a goodnight kiss. Look forward to flowers and love notes. It's not about a chase its about a man who is willing to pursue you as Christ did. When he opens the door and lets you in then lean over and open his from the inside. When he pays for dinner or a movie thank him for the wonderful evening. When he shows up with flowers brag on him for being so thoughtful. Allow him to be the man he was designed to be. Show him what it feels like to meet those expectations in a woman. He will feel like a respected gentlemen  and you will feel like an adored princess.

You are after all a princess and he is after all your prince charming because you are both children of the King. If you seek him first and obey him in all that you do then you will live happily ever after.