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Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Dear Future Husband 5.16.17




Dear Future Husband,

How was your day?  I pray it was filled with favor and blessings. I spent the day nurturing a seek teenager and that was challenging. When we learned about the differences in males and females I must have missed the day we discussed the transition of males into toddlers when plagued with a common cold or other illness. Studies have shown it to be very profound.

I am currently decluttering my home and organizing so I dont have much to move when you find and marry me. I am planning a garage sale to get rid of everything I dont use or need. I hope you're not upset that I wont come with a fondue set, fish griller, painting of 2 basset hounds, fish tank, scrubs, parot painting and a cd collection demonstrating self hypnosis.  I just need to get back to the basics and simplify my space.

I wonder where you are and what you're doing right now.  Some nights I imagine our lives together and I watch it play out like a romantic comedy in my mind. You are Gerard Butler.  You're welcome. We laugh often and home is where we rush back to at the end of every day.  The boys are happy and we sit as a family roasting one another with Deez Nuts jokes.

Well my dear I am off to bed. Before I turn off the light know that I read my devotion and pray for you, for us and for the life we will journey together. I really hope you hurry. Patience is the virtue that Im clearly refining. Continue to seek after the Lord and he will guide you. I believe in the man he has designed for you to be and until you are mine. I love you.  Goodnight.

Love,
Your future Wife
Ashley

PS: Im currently on a budget so I gave up tanning and nails.  If you could lower your standards just slightly that would be great.

SO MUCH CHANGE

               
So much has happened since I last wrote but I will try to keep it as brief as possible. Kevin came around and we had a really intense moment the night he came back. It was truly a God moment and I really feel God pursuing him. I finally met his parents and he declared his intent for this relationship and forward we march,

My mother passed away on 4/20/2017 around 3am by speculation. She had battled ovarian cancer for 4 years and really believed she could beat it. She and I have always been somewhat estranged and we rarely saw eye to eye but in the end she found Jesus.  I watched her body deteriorate but her soul transform into amazing grace. In her final days I spent some time with her and the morning of 4/20 I felt this strong urge to check on her before I went into work.  I walked in to find her dead.  She looked very peaceful and I have no doubt she went home with the Lord.

My sisters and I planned a memorial service because mom wished to be cremated. We made entirely too many inappropriate jokes about that process but mom would've expected nothing less. She always wanted a "Smoking hot body" however my sisters wouldn't allow me to ask the crematorium to play "This Girl is on fire" as they prepared her body.  Mom wanted to be split into thirds for each of us but I told her before she passed that I just couldn't do that and if I had to take a third I would be shooting her off in fireworks. My sisters and Aunt spread some ashes near our grandmothers grave and took some with them. Dana intends to spread mom in beautiful places as she blogs the experience over the next year.  Her first attempt was mothers day and she walked onto a bridge overlooking a river that feeds into the lake where she kayaks. She had a moment and began to dump mom's ashes when she heard someone yell.  She quickly realized she had dumped our mother on a fisherman below the bridge and she took off running. Mom could always find a man in the oddest places.

I personally hit a hard time financially and Im slowly climbing my way back out. Kevin has pushed me to create a budget and that is the most horrible thing in the world. I gave up getting my nails done, getting waxed, and wait for it......PALM BEACH TAN. Gasp!!! I did however join Focus Fit gym which includes tanning so its an extra incentive to go! This whole adult thing has been one stumble after another. Actually there have been moments I literally face dived off the mountain of adulthood and slid all the way down. I am however surviving as I always have been and what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.

Im presently training to climb Stone Mountain and my sister will join me.  We will spread some of mom's ashes at the top and pray that the wind doesn't carry her into anyone's family picnic. Kevin and I are also about to celebrate our first year of dating. My boys are going into the 4th and 8th grade and are growing faster than I am comfortable with. So much has changed in such a short period of time and so much is changing even as I brief you but we welcome change.

Change has always been a bit scary yet exciting...stay tuned