“And I learned what is obvious to a child. That life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals. That a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered. But most of all, I learned that life is about sitting on benches next to ancient creeks with my hand on her knee and sometimes, on good days, for falling in love.” -Nicholas Sparks
I haven't blogged recently because honestly my thoughts have been so scattered that I couldn't seem to make sense of them let alone share them. A few days ago someone said something to me that rocked me. He asked me why I was not doing more than what I am doing now. He pointed out my strengths and possibilities. He said that everyone dies but not everyone lives. I've heard that before but no one has ever personally accused me of "not living my life". I reflected on this and for some reason I was overwhelmed with emotion. He is right. I want so much more out of life and as much as I claim to be living my life, I am not. I'm simply flirting with life. Fear is holding me back. I don't know what I fear. I've said time and time again that people do not rise to meet their potential because its easier not to. I have been that person. People always suggested that I write a book but I started this blog as a beta because I had claimed to have no clue where to begin. It begins with research about where to begin. One step at a time but as long as I'm moving toward a goal I will make progress. He also suggested that I get out more. I use the excuse that I have no one to go with me. I've been silenced and made to feel foolish for years and I don't have to cower any longer. I intend on getting out more. Its exhausting putting myself out there over and over again to be hurt. I'm well aware that this is necessary to find what it is I am looking for so I take it. I accept failure because people who fear failure never progress. They are slaves. I am going to make steps to live life to the fullest potential. I am going to stop letting fear creep in and hinder me. I am going to stop making excuses and enjoy the moments I am given. Last night while lying in bed I realized that so often I view my life as if its something waiting to happen while its happening all around me. I can't get this time back. The time to live is now. We aren't promised tomorrow. If I fail and if I hurt then so be it but one day I will be successful in my conquest for "The One". I've often thought that will be the end of my story. It will be the end of search but a new chapter will begin and we will leave behind a legacy of relentless pursuit. Our lives will have told a story of perseverance and passion. We will not fall into the category of mediocrity. We will not fall into a category at all. We will stand alone as all great love stories do. Until then we will live our lives until we find one another but we can never do this if we do not start living.