Dear Past: Thanks for the lessons. Dear Future: I'm ready. Love, Ashley
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
I've learned to never settle for whats pratical or smart Chase your dreams because you only get one chance to..
I haven’t blogged in a while and I need to release. I found myself entertaining the possibility that I’m getting close to finding what I’ve been looking for. That was quickly interrupted by the stabbing sensation in my chest brought on by disappointment and deception. It seems those two things and I have become rather fond of one another lately. The truth is I’m not a runner. I realized that. I don’t run when I meet someone I want. I fight for that. I don’t give up unless I know that I’ve given it all I have. The problem hasn’t been with me running from good men. The truth is that even though some men are good they may not be for me. That’s only because I know what I want and don’t want. I won’t settle. That’s not a bad thing. That’s a good thing. I won’t apologize for that.
Monday, July 8, 2013
“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're the lion or a gazelle-when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.”-Christopher McDougal
“I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate. ”-Jared Kintz
I had an epiphany! I'm a runner. This is a fact. I don't know why I do it. It's contradicting to everything I claim to want. Sometimes I run. Sometimes I don't. I chase impossible men because I want to prove something. I know that nothing worthwhile is ever easy therefore the challenge entices me. I run away from good men for God only knows why. I'm told I will be alone forever if I don't stop running. I realized this is true. If I don't stop running from the good ones I will be lonely. If I don't stop running towards the ones I'll never catch I will be lonely. Either way I have to stop. Its scary. I don't want to commit. I don't want to settle because I'm afraid I don't trust myself. After the pain I've put myself through by choosing the wrong men I cant take that chance again. I'd rather be alone that make the wrong decision so unless the feeling is overwhelming I can't settle. I just don't know how to stop running.