Still waiting on the Lord to prepare my heart and my life for the man he has for me but my human nature longs for him. The waiting isn’t easy. I feel like I should be searching when I know in reality there is no need to search because God knows who he is. I just must be obedient and wait patiently. That is the hard part. Doing what is right isn’t always easy but I see that it’s worth it. Not only have I read it but I watched the sermon series through my church’s app (Pinelake) called “Let God write your Love story”. The focus is on Ruth and Boaz.
The human part of me longs to feel that romantic bliss. I want long slow kisses that make my tummy do somersaults. I want sweet texts that turn the caterpillars inside into butterflies. I want hours of phone conversations just to hear every single detail of that person’s life. I want to feel like I’m on top of the world and there is no fear of free falling into the arms of the one who stays on my mind. I want to write little love notes, leave little happies, laugh at inside jokes, play fight, make flirty wagers on ball games, and simply lie in someone’s arms praying the sun doesn’t rise too soon. These desires haunt me but I hold tight to the faith that they are all coming.
Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
If I seek the Lord with all of my heart leaving behind these things that I sought after for so long then he will grant them. He is a jealous God and he comes first. I must seek him wholeheartedly if I am to ever find the one who will be who I need.
So often before I ran after men based on impulse or chemistry. It was that carnal desire that I must make them my own. I was left with heartache every single time and in the midst of my tears I would pray and ask God why is this happening to me. I know that I am a good woman and I give 100% of myself but the answer was always the same. It was because I was chasing after men who were not in God’s will for my life. I was trying to make my own and that simply does not work. When we will we stop being so stubborn and accept that? We are all called for a purpose and that is to love the Lord our God with all of our soul and all of our mind.-Matthew 22:37
The Bible doesn’t say love Romance with all of your soul and all of your mind. It doesn’t say love the hottie from the gym with all of your soul and all of your mind. It also doesn’t say love your job and money with all of your soul and all of your mind. It doesn’t say these things yet we often do. Have you not found yourself obsessing over money and bills? Have you not ever obsessed and pined over a lost love? We aren’t to seek after these things. We are to seek God and once we are whole in him and he is all we feel we ever need THEN and ONLY THEN will he grant the desires of your heart.
Now you can foolishly chase after these things all you want but the answer is clear. You have to be willing to empty your heart of any selfish desire and ask God to fill it with him. You will find joy and peace in there I can assure you. As I said earlier it isn’t easy. I have my moments where I am plagued with loneliness but that is Satan whispering his lies to me. He wants me to think that I am sitting and waiting when I need to be out meeting people and socializing. I need to be reading love novels and posting on dating sites to put my heart out there. The truth is my heart is where it needs to be. It is with the keeper of it and the only one who can protect it. I am seeking the Lord and he will bless me with all of the things I ever imagined threefold.