As I sit here tonight or morning rather, I ponder about everything Christmas. I reflect on memories of Christmas past and I stress over Christmas present. The pun is definitely intended because PRESENTS seem to take such priority over our Christmas thoughts. Our expectations of Christmas and what it should be for ourselves, our children and our families. We compare our decorations to those we see on pinterest and we vow to do Christmas crafts with our kids every night. "THIS YEAR" precedes every great plan and expectation we set for the holiday. When work life and everyday routines sort of get in the way and we find ourselves drawing closer and closer to the big day we begin to feel overwhelmed and pressure to get everything done because THIS IS THE YEAR. When it doesn't quite happened as planned we find ourselves feeling defeated. We feel as though we are depriving our children of Christmas cheer and nostalgic memories.
Im sitting on my couch next to a pile of laundry that has nestled in the same spot for 2 weeks. The glow of the lights allow just enough visibility that I can see the legos, shards of wrapping paper, shoes, amazon boxes and a kfc cup sitting next to the television. I had big plans for tonight. It would begin with family and a traditional game of dirty santa then carols on the way home. We would then bake hot cocoa cookies, peppermint sugar cookies and make apple cider before watching a Christmas story as a family. We would then read the nativity story from the bible and reflect on the true meaning of Christmas and how this night we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Well the night began with family and that traditional game of dirty santa. The ride home was filled with silent but deadly flatulence from two giggling boys who complained about me wanting to drive and see Christmas lights. We arrived home and realized I still needed to clean the kitchen. As they dumped their favorite stockings that their aunt net had gifted them I began cleaning. They sorted their loot and prepared for bed forgetting all about cookies and movies.
I felt as though I wasn't living up to the expectations I set for their Christmas this year. I felt defeated and guilty. I hadn't done enough. I hadn't bought enough. I think about Mary pregnant with Jesus and preparing for his arrival. She knew she would give birth to the Messiah. I can't imagine the expectations that she set for this day and how everything changed. Im sure she never imagined giving birth in a stable among livestock. Im sure she wanted more for her newborn son than a trough with hay as a manger. She probably wanted her family near to support her and celebrate the occasion. Everything changed. She was tired and exhausted. She made the best of the situation and unto us a King was born. How humbling is that thought? In the cold of night a king lying in hay wrapped in swaddling clothes. Why do I expect so much and allow it to steal the joy of Christmas from me? As Mary lied there exhausted from child birth there was Joseph gazing at his son. Preparing himself for the unknown but trusting in God with everything.
Well baby Jesus would certainly feel like he was in a stable here with our disarray but he is always welcome. Our ride home may have smelled the same as that old barn as well. We have room for him here. Where the bright lights and festivities may try to be all inclusive during the holidays we find the true meaning of Christmas in a cold dirty stable. From a dirty stable to a messy apartment he makes all things new. He came to restore. He came as grace. He came as unconditional love. He came to die so that we may have eternal life through him. No gift can ever compare. No décor will ever be as beautiful as the glow of Mary after birth. No lights will ever shine as bright as the northern star as it led the wise men on this night. Maybe we need to shift our expectations NEXT YEAR and focus on what truly matters. WISE MEN still seek him. O Holy night.
