There aren’t many people who can fathom the depth of an INFJ
personality. In fact, it takes one to know one. It makes for a lonely existence,
but solitude is something an INFJ thrives on. I’m sure it has more to do with
adaptation than choice. On rare occasions we will encounter like minded
individuals and the excitement is overwhelming.
People want to be understood but an INFJ rarely understands themselves.
They’re enigmatic to others and to themselves.
I feel things on a deeper level than most. I am an INFJ Empath,
so I feel other’s emotions and absorb their energy. It drains me and I must be very careful about
those that I surround myself with. It is such a gift to read others and
understand them in ways I only wish to be understood. I see and feel things
that I wish I could share with others and I can’t. It is impossible to share my
existence in this world, but I am going to try.
My world is full of wonder. I love to explore historical
places off the beaten path and get lost in the imagery of life that once existed
there. I’ve brushed my hands along bring walls and imagined the conversations
that once took place among the bricklayers. I have turned pages of old books
and wondered if someone long before me wept when they read the same words that
touched me so deeply. I have studied the faces in antique portraits and wondered
what secrets were hidden in their eyes. I have walked along beaten paths
wondering whose footsteps walked before me.
My world is full of passion and emotion. I have spent hours immersed in song lyrics
that describe my thoughts and feelings in ways I couldn’t express otherwise. The
lyrics were written by someone who at some point in their life felt the same emotions
that I am feeling. In that moment, I don’t feel so alone. In that moment I know
that someone understands or has at least understood. I have felt an emotional
connection to fictional characters in books I’ve read and movies I’ve
seen. I have grieved when the credits
began to roll, or the final page has been turned. Those rare and brief moments
in time are so moving and so rare that I long for the next encounter. When I love I give it my all because I don’t
know how to be anything less than I am. When I feel pain, I feel it deeply and
appreciate the growth that follows.
A lot of people understand the difference in sympathy and empathy,
but I don’t know what it feels like to sympathize. I only feel empathy. Sometimes its so overwhelming that it takes a
toll on me physically. I tend to avoid
the news and triggers because I know what it does to me. I also avoid interactions with people and
over time I have closed myself off as a defense mechanism. If I don’t allow others to get close or I don’t
expose myself then I can avoid some of those emotions. It is so draining to feel this way and read
so much into normal conversations. I
know things without having proof and I have no way to communicate that with
others.
When I have shared what I feel with others they are often baffled as to
how I read them so accurately and understand what and why they feel the way
they do. We are alike in so many ways, but
people internalize so much out of fear that they are alone in their thoughts. People
internalize so much because we have all been broken when vulnerable. I have been broken time and time again, but I have loved in
ways that many will never feel. If I don’t risk the pain, then I don’t get to
experience the joy. If I don’t put myself out there, then how can anyone
understand me? If I don’t share my existence with the world then how will
others know they are not alone?
