Isn't it funny how a song can take you back to a certain place and time? Sometimes you hear a melody and feelings engulf you as if you were transported back in time. Music can be so powerful like that. I apply certain songs to everything going on in my life whether happy or sad. We are always amazed when we hear lyrics that seem to have been written as if the artist were inside of our heads. This lets me know that what I am feeling or whatever it is that I'm going through doesn't mean life has singled me out. It lets us know that somewhere someone gets it. Someone gets who you are and what you're feeling right now.
Have you ever met someone who really gets you? I mean really GETS YOU! You both seem to share the same thoughts, philosophies, fears, experiences, and passions. It becomes intoxicating. You want to share everything with one another because you feel as if you have found yourself within someone else. It's these relationships that tattoo our hearts forever. It's these people we never forget because everything about us is a reminder of who they are and what you once had. I've met several people in my lifetime who I have really connected with on a deep level. That intoxication is what we crave when it comes to finding love. It is that chemistry and magnetism that drives us.
When we lose these people it feels like we lose half of ourselves. I am emotionally healthy enough to know better but nonetheless it is how it "feels". I know everybody's got their demons and everybody's runs for different reasons. Sometimes when the euphoria settles and reality hits us we are faced with the person who not only "gets us" but "mirrors us" and sometimes this is enough to scare the hell out of you. Maybe the reason we once invested everything into someone else was because we were trying so hard to escape ourselves. Maybe we seek understanding from someone so desperately because we couldn't understand ourselves.
Passionate love like this is a drug and there is no doubt about that. Infatuation is addictive and we never find sobriety from it. We can't hide from it and we can't avoid it forever because when love is looking for you it will hunt you down. You can run all you want because you know that the detox is painful. Heartache is absolutely a helpless feeling that demands to be felt. The key is to recognize this and understand that it doesn't last forever. It may leave scars that last forever but they're reminders of what we learned or took from that love. The harder you love the harder it hurts when its over but we find ourselves each time we see ourselves through another's eyes. We take from others the things that we love about them. The reason we often find it hard to let go and move on after heartache is because we are so afraid that we will never feel that happy again. I am not immune to heartache. God knows I love hard and I break easy. I have however learned that in order to feel this passion you have to take risks. I have learned that pain is temporary but the wisdom it brings makes it worth it in the end. I have learned that it gets easier each time.
With all this being said I do have nights that I cry into my pillow because I miss certain things about certain people. Sometimes I feel a sadness sweep over me when I think about how I have been treated when I've always given all of me. Sometimes I get angry that I have this gumption and a heart that just won't quit. I then realize that I have felt things and loved in ways that some people spend their entire lives trying to feel. I gamble because I know that the very emotion that breaks your heart is the very emotion that can heal it. I also think too deeply to ever live a life that is shallow and void of emotions. You see I've found beauty in the breaking therefore I don't live my life avoiding the pain...I've embraced love & heartache individually. They're both inevitable and necessary for growth and happiness. I hope that somewhere someone out there is reading this and thinking...she is in my head right now. Thanks for inviting me in ...I get you.
