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Tuesday, July 21, 2015

She smiles in spite of you

She smiles at strangers in passing
Searching for some story behind their eyes
There's always something to read
something beneath the surface of our shells
She wonders if they all hide similar secrets
Do they slowly die inside when they hear a certain name
Do they feel an emptiness in their soul as they drive home
Do they scramble to change the station when songs remind them of the past
Are we all running
Are we running toward something or away from it all
Maybe she smiles hoping they can see through her
Maybe just maybe she hopes someone will hear the silent screams
She pushes hoping someone will stop her
She silently begs for them to see the pain and fear she holds captive inside
She silently yearns for them to hear the tears behind her laughter
She silently longs for someone to heal the wounds she can't even bare to touch
She smiles in spite of the lonely
She smiles in spite of the words that haunt her every heartbeat
She smiles in spite of the words that were never said
the words that she prays she will one day hear
the words that she herself can't even imagine escaping the tongue of her transgressors
she's somewhere between hopeless and the verge of glory
she doesn't know how far she is from the border of either yet she runs
maybe she runs in place but God knows she's a runner
she stumbles and she hurts but she runs
she's so tired yet her strength is renewed each day
everyday she wonders if today will be the day
It isn't love she hopes for as much as it is to be understood
My God can't you see that she only wants to be understood
Can you not see that she only wants a place to exhale
She just wants to spill everything out onto the table and to not be judged for it
She wants to just be enough
She wants you to see beyond what it is you want from her
She is more than you can even imagine yet you only want her touch
You have no desire for the love she has to give
You fools.
You will crave the scent of her hair some day
You will hear her laugh in crowds and search for her face
You'll lie awake wishing time were on your side
She will finally have all she ever prayed for while she prayed for you
Maybe love is the drug she uses to numb the pain
It is after all the very thing that brought her here
As you walk away just remember her smile
Just look at her smile
She smiles in spite of you