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Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Friends with Benefits

Has anyone ever made you feel worthless? I mean obviously I know my self-worth…I am a self-proclaimed princess for heaven’s sake! I mean has someone’s actions ever just made you step back in awe of how little they value you or your feelings? For the longest time I have wondered why I cannot seem to accept the infamous “Friends with Benefits” situation aka “FWB”. Everyone so quickly says sex isn’t the same thing as love or dating. People say “just have fun” or “Forget the rules”. Obviously these “people” I am referring to have a “Meat and 2 sides” on their dinner plate because most women are not OK with a FWB. Every now and then we consider it but let’s be honest here when we do it’s with someone we would never date. GASP!!! If we think this way does that mean that men think the same way? Does that mean every time I have been propositioned for a FWB situation it’s because I'm not exactly “girlfriend material”?? I like to tell myself that the way men and women think are much different so maybe that isn’t always the case. IT IS ALWAYS THE CASE WITH ME. If I would sleep with you then I would typically date you. That remark is null and void in regards to anyone I may or may not have been intimate with THEN realized after the fact that I just wasn’t feeling it. That is totally irrelevant. I am being a guy today aren’t I? 

The one thing I realized is how I feel when someone propositions me as friend with benefits. You’re telling me that I’m good enough to go out and hang out with, kiss, call/text, and have sex BUT you just aren’t looking to be in a relationship? Aren’t all of those things part of being in a relationship? How am I good enough for all the components of a relationship but not the title? I am confused UNLESS you are trying to spare my feelings in which case I do not. If I am not feeling you like that I will tell you. This is the only logical explanation. When you proposition me like that it makes me feel worthless. I feel like I am not good enough and that is an awful feeling. No one wants to feel like they aren’t good enough for someone. We want to know what we can do to improve our chances with the next person. We over analyze and wonder what was it that we lacked? If more people would be honest about things then maybe everyone would stop over thinking so damn much! Tell me Im not your type but you’d bang me behind closed doors. Tell me you’re just a man whore and you don’t want to commit to one woman. Tell me that you don’t have to have feelings for me or even want to date me to sleep with me. Let me judge you as fairly as you judged me. We have all been on both sides of the fence here so I am not crying victim. I know I have been just as guilty as leading someone on as the next but I can assure you it has never been for the sole purpose of sleeping with them. Women just do not have this problem. Could that be why we don’t understand why guys compartmentalize sex and love? 

It is just such a double standard out there and I get that. I don’t want to sleep around. I want to know that someone wants the whole package. I am not giving you the best of me just because you feed me some pretty little lie. I have fallen for that just like every other girl. The difference is I learned the game early on. You’ll say what you have to say to get it and then you’ll be gone because the conquest is over. This is why I wait. This is why I don’t think sex right away is a good thing. So you ask why I don’t do “Friends with benefits”? Well you aren’t friends. You are providing a benefit to someone who is indifferent when it comes to you because otherwise they would want to claim you and you’d be in a relationship. So no I have no interest in your title since you have no interest in mine. I am worth pursuing. I am worth the effort. I have standards and you will not disrespect me. I know my place and I can be the best of both worlds BUT only for a man who deserves it. See I am such a CHICK after all!