"I am an ambitious person. I never consider myself in competition with anyone, and Im not saying that from an arrogant standpoint, its just that my journey started so so long ago and Im still on it and I refuse to stand still"
The more I have spent alone the more I have had time to really ponder. I am not sure if that is necessarily a good thing. You know I tend to get off on these ideas and theories that do nothing but fuel more ideas and theories until I am a big southern mess of hair and over-analyzations.
I have talked to guy friends who discuss their dating lives and I have talked to girlfriends who do the same. We are all swimming in this local fish bowl waiting for the other person to prove that they are a sure bet before we take the bait. We are all so jaded and worried that we will repeat every mistake we have ever made that we tend to play it on the safe side. What’s the worst that can happen? You will either break up or get married. No one is saying dating has a time line and we have to be exclusive by a certain date and married by another.
It seems like most men want to be someone’s superhero yet here I am drowning in all these things I feel but no one can hear me screaming. Maybe I am not meant to be saved. Maybe I am meant to leave pieces of myself with everyone I meet until there is nothing of me left to give. Maybe I am one of those people who is never meant to be tied down. Lord knows the idea of it gives me anxiety. How can I want something and loathe it at the same time? How am I both flighty and needy? Why is it that men call me a drug or say Im magnetic yet the right ones never seem to stick around? The simplicity of it all is that once we find “our person” it will be this mutual connection and we will just know it.
All this playing it safe crap and risk management is only necessary when it comes to standards and compatibility. I will not be intimidated by a man I find interesting and I will always talk to who I feel compelled to talk to because if I never try it may never happen. If we are waiting on some man to ride up on his white horse and twirl us off into the sunset we need to wake up. That man may have fallen off of that horse too many times. The horse could’ve gotten tired of looking for us and DIED! Ladies we need to throw prince charming a bone here because he is in this same nightmare we are in.
WE ARE ALL TIRED. We are tired because we have made it a task or conquest. That is why we feel defeated. Let’s just have fun and enjoy meeting people. Let’s drop the expectations and know that we will always gain something from trying whether it be a life lesson, a friend, a memory, a laugh, an amazing night, networking or the love of our life! Let’s stop worrying about the destination and fall in love with the journey.