35 Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.
Well apparently I haven’t died from my broken heart. I have thrown myself into friends, work and my children but most importantly I have refused to let it take me down. There have been days where I reflected on the painful words he said to me. I’ve teared up when I think about him holding me close and kissing me. He really did a good job convincing me that this was something we were going to invest in. I laid all my cards out and he folded. The thing is that it was simply a relationship that never really took flight and that’s ok. I would much rather hurt over the disappointment than be broken over wasted years.
I have since really enjoyed the company of friends and just allowed laughter and my faith to get me past the blues. You know I’m the type of woman who never stays down long. Life is too short to be miserable. I had a guy say to me that it seems I just move right on to the next but what he fails to see is the men that I reject. There are always prospects waiting around the corner and I happen to explore those possibilities. I feel like lying around and pondering over the should’ve could’ve would’ve moments only make you jaded. I don’t want to be that girl. I’ve said that many times.
The thing is I’m an all in type of person when it comes to anything. I give it 100% because that I who I am. I think that people deserve that and not only that but I deserve 100% and that would be so hypocritical of me to expect more than I give.
I’ve heard people say that expectations are what causes us pain but in reality we can’t cut that off. We can pretend to but it doesn’t work that way. When you meet someone you like then hope begins to take over and you become hopeful that the feeling lasts. It’s when that circumstance changes and we have to walk away from that feeling …that is when we get our hearts broken. Its just a fact of life. The trust is we jump head first hoping for the best and if what we find isn’t what we wanted then we bail out. We have all been on both ends of the spectrum.
I know for a fact I have broken many hearts and I’ve broken them the exact way mine has been broken so trust me when I say that I get it. Does it suck? Hell yes it does but it happens. You dust yourself off and you move on. That is exactly what I have done. Hindsight has taught me so much and most importantly it has taught me that life goes on. I’ve said this once before but I am a cotton farmers daughter. I grew up knowing the power of prayer. I know that crops can fail and they can be abundant but they require hard work and hope. The rest is up to God. Relationships are the same way. We pray for abundance and we put the work in but sometimes they fail. We don’t give up. We prepare for the next season.