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Monday, July 11, 2016

Mega Millions

After our return from New Orleans Kevin and I haven't spent very much time apart. We have gone on countless dates, celebrated a birthday, outings with my boys, evenings relaxing at one or the other's home, and a couple road trips.  It feels as though he and I have been dating for months but it has only been a little over one. We have shared intimate moments of clarity and emotions and we have laughed while teasing one another like school kids. We have experienced kisses that compete with movie scenes and felt passion that bring chill bumps to recollect. I have never felt a comparable connection in my life and I am extremely happy.

On the way back from New Orleans we stopped to get a lottery ticket and I had never purchased one before. Well he tells me to take the money to the counter and just tell the clerk I want a lottery ticket then he sort of walks away and browses. I was super nervous and I did as he instructed me to. The girl looked at me and sputtered something really fast so all I heard was " You want the mega million, lotto, powerball, blah blah blah?" Naturally my response was "Yeah" and she drops her eyes while rolling them as far back into her head as humanly possible then asked me "WELL WHICH ONE YOU WANT"?  Meanwhile Kevin is over in the corner just laughing hysterically. The girl then explains that they are all different and I pick the mega million and we exit the store. I felt super dumb but what more can you expect from a lottery virgin. He enjoys recanting my response of "Yeah" to any relative situation where I am prompted to make a decision. We laugh about it quite often.

A few weeks ago we ventured into Vicksburg for "Sunday funday" at the military park and enjoyed an amazing lunch at the 10 South Rooftop bar and grill. Before we headed home I wanted to drive across the bridge into Louisiana to try out my new "Lottery ticket purchasing" skills. I walked into the store and told the girl I wanted 2 of the mega million and handed her a $5 since they were $1 each. She said she didn't know if she had any $1s so I told her to just give me 3 more tickets then. Well she handed me 2 tickets which looked like the original one I had purchased back on 6.12.16 so I assumed she was waiting to give me the other 3. She glared at me and asked if I needed anything else and I told her my other 3 tickets. She explained they were printed on the 2nd ticket. Y'all I thought I was doing so good up until now. I had just mastered the concept of which ticket I wanted to purchase and no one informed me that they would list multiple lines on 1 ticket! Another lottery lesson learned for next time...

I boldly walked back to the car to boast about my successful purchase and certainty that we would be millionaires by Wednesday morning (Not JUST millionaires but MEGA millionaires) but I had to be honest. He got a nice chuckle and we were on our way home. Sundays are always very bittersweet for us because it means the wonderful weekend we shared is coming to an end. We always embrace with a long hug reluctantly saying goodbye as if it is the last time we will ever see one another again. The Sunday blues are quickly met with the responsibility of housework, kids and the approaching work week and we carry on as we do every other day.

I often think about the day Kevin messaged me online and how I was deleting my dating profile because I was ready to just give up and leave it to fate. I didn't want to exhaust any effort whatsoever into the dating world as it had turned out to be so disheartening. I received that message and we chatted briefly. I gave him my number explaining that I was deleting my profile and there we were. We both were very keen on the online dating game and decided to arrange a meet and greet just to make sure it was safe to actually like our conversations and possibly even allow a little hope to slip in there. Just a little over a month ago I met this perfect stranger and had no idea he would end up meaning so much to me. Thinking of those lottery tickets and odds...thinking of the gamble and risk we take when it comes to opening up to someone puts it all into perspective.

There are 7.4 billion people in the world. There are over 321 million people in the United States. There are almost 3 million people in Mississippi. There are 1.4 million males in Mississippi and of those there are $84K that are white males. You can further break them down by age, mental health and marital status to make the odds less likely that the man I have been praying for my entire life fits into that census. When you look at billions or even millions then its easy to fathom your "person" being out  there but to narrow it down really feels more like the odds of winning that mega million.

Sometimes we get on these dating sites and we take a chance and purchase a ticket and sometimes we purchase 5 to increase our odds of winning. We daydream about the possibilities until the moment comes and we are met with the disappointment that we didn't hold the winning ticket. Doesn't mean we give up hope but we may not play for a while. Just before Kevin messaged me I had been thinking of all the failed attempts and I was ready. I was living with expectancy that any moment God would bless me with a man who was the equivalent of winning the lottery.  The odds may seem like they are stacked against you when you look at the numbers but God is in control. If you listen he will speak and he will guide you. You may feel the fear and the risk but stepping out on faith will result in blessings you cant even imagine. 

You see I may not have ever purchased an actual lottery ticket before meeting Kevin but I gambled with my heart from time to time. Just as I was about to give up my winning numbers came up to play... 06....01....2016  and on that day God blessed me with a man who is more valuable than willing the lottery. He is my jackpot!