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Monday, June 20, 2016

You had me at "Comfortable"



So here I am with a mind full of thoughts and emotions to express. I hardly know where to begin so I guess I will just start with June 1st. June 1st was just an ordinary Wednesday except it happened to be the day that I met a man from a dating site online. There I was feeling super skeptical and certain that this would be yet another first and last date or meet and greet. We had been chatting for a few days and shared a few laughs.  It seemed right to just meet before either one of us got our hopes up. I drive up and this man smiled at me. It was that moment that my heart sort of took a breath or sigh of relief. He felt safe.

I had become so doubtful of everyone I had planned to meet online. I almost loathed first dates to the point that I would find reasons to cancel. My comfort zone was at home in my yoga pants with sushi and netflix. Although binge watching entire seasons of Army wives wasn't exactly emotionally healthy either. Yes there I was having a meet and greet with a man who I expected to be all wrong for me. As I drove away I thought of every reason why it would probably not work out regardless of that first impression.

I started telling myself it was impossible because he didn't have children and I could no longer have anymore. I started thinking of my parental responsibilities and thought there is no way he would be patient with my schedule in the beginning so why even bother. As I was pondering reasons to go ahead and end it before I got my hopes up my heart sort of pulled the reigns. A bold resolve gripped me and I decided it was time to stop running. If all of these are reasons it wouldnt work out then ending it before it had a chance certainly wasn't much of an alternative. I took a chance. I stepped out on faith.

They say to take a step of faith and God will do the rest. I can assure you that is exactly what has happened since then. We went from a meet and greet to a breakfast date to seeing one another almost every day, We took a road trip to New Orleans and we continue to see where this thing is taking us.

Now that I have prefaced you with a shell of this story I want to visit the things I have picked up on one by one but not in just this one post. It is too much to write in one sitting. Im flooded with thoughts and things to say so I have to take time to sort them out and share them with you, Tonight I simply want to talk about comfort.

You can't prepare yourself for the magic that will unfold when you give someone enough comfort to be themselves. THIS is something I live for. Real connections with real people who are so unapologetically themselves. I am so passionate and I crave moments when I see people in raw form. I want to see the things that make them smile. I want to watch their faces light up when they talk about things that they're passionate about. I like to hear their stories of how life has molded them into the person they are today. If you can't feel this deeply and if you can't find beauty in the most ordinary things then what makes you feel alive?

He and I have had endless conversations about everything imaginable but one word is spoken more often than any others. That word is "comfortable".  Having that level of comfort to be vulnerable isn't easy for alot of people. Life has a way of jading us. People have made us feel that love is conditional. We begin to layer armor on us until we are only connecting with people on a surface level. We long to feel something that moves us inside. We want to fall in love. We want these feelings but we are scared to take the step of faith required to get there. We want to trust but that level of comfort is lacking.

The way we make people feel comfortable is by making ourselves just as vulnerable. Its by understanding that we have all felt pain. When this happens people begin to soften and allow you to peel back the layers one at a time. It is in this moment that you connect with one another. It is in this beautiful moment that they feel safe to feel things they've avoided feeling. They find words to describe fears and desires. They begin to purge months and years of emotions that they've bottled deep inside because there was no where to release them. These connections are rare but they are the moments that inspire novels and movies. They make us feel alive. It all starts with a little comfort. Comfort is a catalyst of stories that long to be told.

Follow as I share with you the things I have discovered recently ...you had me at "comfortable"