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Sunday, November 8, 2015

How to protect your Heart



So here I am after all that has transpired. My heart full of praise for all that God is. I posted about finding a man who was the answer to my prayers. I logged my prayer journal. I posted about Satan vs. Intuition. I exposed all of these moments to those of you who read and follow me. Well the truth is that the man turned out to be everything he said he was not. I didn't want any of you to think negatively of faith and prayer and claiming things that we pray for. I have sat patiently waiting on God to lay on my heart what it is that he wanted me to learn from this. You see God did allow this man to come into my life. I may have been wrong about the intent but God doesn't make mistakes. The peace I felt about this was real. You see sometimes people come into our lives for a brief moment to teach us something or to plant a seed for things to come. I gave God my heart and I prayed about this situation as I do everything. I kept God in the center of my life. I focused on him rather than this relationship. I was looking at him to direct it in whatever direction he wanted it to go. I was hopeful and excited but I always ask God that his will be done over my desires. When this man let me down I was in awe that I felt no pain. I didn't cry. I didn't feel heartbroken. I've always read  Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 but to be honest I haven't always known how to guard my heart. I have always felt powerless to the passion I have felt and falling in love. I thought guarding my heart meant building walls and I didn't know how to love that way. I dont know how to give myself in layers. Im an all or nothing person. It wasnt until now that I see the way to protect our hearts is to give to the one it belongs to. I gave my heart to Jesus and I kept him first therefore he protected it. The circumstances were no different than before. There was a man who was everything I have ever wanted and he led me on. This has happened before and I felt crushed with disappointment. Why not this time? Well there it is. This time....I put God in the center of it all. I had been praying and studying about God's love for me. I wanted to know how to truly make him my first love again. He sent a man into my life to teach me of his love for me. He is showing me that I am his and he is mine. He is displaying all the characteristics that I should seek in a future husband. Men may come along dressed exactly like all I have asked for and I no longer have to fear the risk because I know who holds my heart. I know who protects me. It is about obedience and keeping God first in all we do no matter what it is. Isn't that amazing? We don't have to fear! We don't have worry! We are called to love and he shows us the magnitude of his love everyday as long as we look to him. I forgive James for hurting me because he is broken and doesn't know what he is doing. God knows his heart and I do not. God extends grace to me abundantly therefore I would never withhold that grace from those who do me wrong. He didn't ask me for forgiveness. He didnt even apologize. I extend my forgiveness anyway. I pray that God blesses him and his life. I pray that he finds whatever it is he is missing. I pray that he see that all he needs is God and all else will fall into place. I pray for the hearts he may be breaking in the process. I still have faith in all that I have prayed for. That faith is unwavering. I am so full of joy and nothing can take that away.