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Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Setting the Record Straight


"People who are scared do not live life. They live according to what other's expect of them. They suppress all they really want to do and feel because they are afraid of what people might say. I say live your life creatively. Be accountable to God and to yourself. Do not be afraid to live your life because it may be over before you wake in the morning." -Ashley Bates

So there has been something I have really wanted to express but I wanted to gather my thoughts before blogging. I have openly posted my "Dear Future Husband" letters on FB because they are meant to be witty. I also post about the "single life" and the "Woes of dating" again it's really to post something funny or just to share in general. I also post about my children, local issues, living in the south, family and friends.

I wake up in the morning and get my boys ready for school, drive almost an hour to work, work all day, drive almost an hour home, help with homework, cook dinner, give baths, clean house, and go to bed. On Tuesdays we have cub scouts, on Wednesdays we have church, and the weekends are spent doing things with the kiddos. Every other weekend the boys go to visit their father and this is when I explore the dating world. TWO WEEKENDS out of the month. 4 possible dates for the entire month.

I post about things I can make humor of or that I can use to deliver a positive message. I am known as the single southern belle because my best friend and I also have a FB page where we post videos about the single life and dating. AGAIN LET ME REITERATE - IT IS FOR HUMOR! Because of the content that I post, I have had men and women message me, comment and tell me the following things more than I care to mention:

"Don't worry, the right one will come along"
"When you stop looking you will find him"
"Just focus on your boys and stop worrying about finding a man"
"Place your attention on God. He is all you need"
"Your priorities should be your kids and not worrying about dating"

Let me set the record straight please. My faith is strong. I love God and I put him first in my life. My boys are second. My job is 3rd. Then there is friends/family and last myself. I am content with my life. I have not been in a serious relationship in three years. I have talked to prospects and gone on first/last dates but no real relationship. The reason is MY faith is strong. I love God and I put him first in my life. My boys are second. My job is 3rd. You see I have all I need but I want to share my life with someone else. I love the feeling of falling in love. I love feeling that excitement and hope. Just like anything else that brings joy in our life, Love is a wonderful thing!

I have standards and I have boundaries. When I find someone I actually like then of course I get my hopes up. I should get excited. When it doesn't work out then I walk away with a lesson and I share that. I am very open with my feelings and my life. That is who I am. I give 100% of myself. We all have things we want in life and just because you don't want the same things I do doesn't mean I am wrong. It's easy to sit back and assume things about me when you don't really know me. Maybe instead of making that assumption you should look further than social media. Maybe you should reach out to me and find out who I really am. If I judged everyone's character, priorities and life goals by their social media posts then I would accuse my best friend of caring more about the Denver Broncos than anything else in her life, or another friend of only being focused on politics rather than his family, or the lady who obviously spends all of her time playing FB games and probably has no other life. You see it isn't fair to label me as desperate or trying too hard when it's quite the opposite. It is 4 days out of a month that I have allotted for dating should I actually meet someone I find interesting enough to share that time with.

I know that I don't owe anyone an explanation because I am an adult. I guess I simply wanted to vent my frustrations when I get messages like that. I know all of these things are true. I know the right one will come along when the time is right but guess what? You or I do not know when that will be. I live my life with expectancy. Every day I wake up could be that day. The next man I meet could be the one. The next first date I go on could be my last. The next first kiss I enjoy could be the last first kiss. I am living my life. I am really exploring and expanding my interests. I am learning and writing. I am meeting people and networking. I am making memories. I am healing old wounds, showing scars, and making new ones. I am blossoming everyday and I am revealing layer by layer as I find myself. I am writing the pages of my book as I live my life and for that I will never be ashamed.