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Saturday, July 19, 2014

Contentment is Captured

Well hello there. It's been a while since I've posted. It isn't because I don't have anything to say. It isn't because life isn't tossing me in a thousand different directions. I've simply been standing in the eye of the storm just taking it in. I planted my feet and looked up at the storm raging around me and smiled. I closed my eyes and felt the sting of the rain against my face. I was knocked down by debris but I stood back up. I have reached contentment. As storms raged all around me I held on to my hope and faith that I am never alone.

I have always said that God doesn't promise us that we won't go through things. He promises he will be with us as we do. We have to overcome to gain wisdom. If I give up I will become stagnant. This redundant message is my personal motivation. It is what drives me. I know that it is important to constantly grow. It is important to face your fears because fear is what holds you back. We are in a constant battle with good and evil. Evil only wins when all hope is lost.

Since my last post my stance on solitary contentment has strengthened. I am ok alone. I am happy. This has been a major milestone emotionally. It empowers me to stand firm when my boundaries are compromised and people attack my standards. I expect someone to rise and meet my standards. I will not lower mine to settle for less that I know I need and deserve.

I won't give life to the troubles that surrounded me because they are irrelevant. I don't have to discuss them in detail because I refuse to acknowledge them. They do not define nor control who I am or how I feel. I am in control of that. Looking back over my posts since I began writing I realize the growth in that statement. I have come so far from who I was. I try not to reflect on my past and revisit them. I feel that once I've felt the pain and moved on that it would be self destructive to take myself back there emotionally. I do miss a few key people who came into my life and challenged me in ways that forever changed me. I miss talking to them and I miss the passion in our conversations. I miss the tears we shed for one another. I miss the fights and the laughter. I miss the thought provoking situation we found ourselves in. It's those people and those moments that I live for. It's so bitter sweet now. I realize I have outgrown some of those people and it would be detrimental to reach out to them again. I won't feel bad for progressing and I can't allow myself to be pulled back. I know they still read this blog and they will know who they are. I hope they know that they aren't forgotten. They're monuments along this highway of life I travel. They're memories. They're blessings. They matter.

I shouldn't have waited so long to post. I have so many topics and thoughts to share that they're flooding my mind at once and I'm overwhelmed with things I want to say but each post I write has a purpose and a message so I will save them to post over the next few days. I plan to start writing again as I did in the beginning. I have missed my outlet and sharing with you.