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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The Standard of Integrity

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

It seems like every man that hurt me has reached out to me in the past 2 weeks. It's been an opportunity to test the waters and see how strong I've really become. I care about my heart and I care about my well being. If you look me in my eyes and feed me empty promises and pointless words that's on you but if I eat them it's on me because you've already breached that precious trust. I was raised to take a man at his word until he lies. If you lie then you lack integrity. You can't come back months down the road with an apology and pick me back up. If you take a piece of antique china and drop it on the floor its going to break. You can apologize all you want to but it's still broken. It will never be the same again. People with integrity do not intentionally hurt people. This is precisely why I set boundaries and rules instead of building walls.

I recently reconnected with my summer fling from the summer I turned 16. We found each other on Facebook and chatted on the phone. We had drinks on the phone and listened to 90s music while taking a walk down memory lane. We didn't make plans to rekindle the flame or anything but it was just friendly conversation. He said something that hit home with me. He said he remembered being able to talk to me about anything. People tell me that now. It obvious that we are who we are and our character and personality is set in stone. Time and circumstances might alter our view on life and our actions but ultimately we are who we've always been. Integrity is something you were raised with and you either possess it or you don't. I think its a character trait.

With that being said should we offer second chances to people? Obviously it depends on the offense but if you ever have to question someone's integrity then odds are they are lacking it. This comes down to standards. You control how others treat you. People will treat you how you allow them to treat you. If you set boundaries and walk away when someone crosses them then your heart will learn to trust your mind again. Its taken years and experience to reach this point in my life but let me say this to you now, IF YOU LET FEAR HOLD YOU BACK FROM LIVING LIFE AND RISKING YOUR HEART THEN YOU WILL NEVER OBTAIN WISDOM AND YOU WILL NEVER FEEL THE EUPHORIA OF LOVE.  Wisdom comes from living. Get out there and live your life. You are going to be broken down time and time again but the wisdom you'll gain will rebuild you renew your spirit until you look in the mirror one day and see a stronger you. Then the fall begins to not hurt as bad until eventually you find the one that makes you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.