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Monday, July 8, 2013

Running



 “Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're the lion or a gazelle-when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.”-Christopher McDougal

“I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.
”-Jared Kintz



I had an epiphany! I'm a runner. This is a fact. I don't know why I do it. It's contradicting to everything I claim to want. Sometimes I run. Sometimes I don't. I chase impossible men because I want to prove something. I know that nothing worthwhile is ever easy therefore the challenge entices me. I run away from good men for God only knows why. I'm told I will be alone forever if I don't stop running. I realized this is true. If I don't stop running from the good ones I will be lonely. If I don't stop running towards the ones I'll never catch I will be lonely. Either way I have to stop. Its scary. I don't want to commit. I don't want to settle because I'm afraid I don't trust myself. After the pain I've put myself through by choosing the wrong men I cant take that chance again. I'd rather be alone that make the wrong decision so unless the feeling is overwhelming I can't settle. I just don't know how to stop running.