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Friday, March 15, 2013

Rescue me

I was recently looking at what I like to call "Hero kisses" online.  You've seen them.  The classic military kiss.
The romantic fireman kiss.  These are tangible reasons to keep the search alive.  There is that moment of passion. People do experience it.  It is out there. Women are smitten when some hero shows up just in the nick of time and saves her from tragedy. Our knight in shining armor, camo, or fireproof suit.Talking with a friend recently I told her "I will never get married again".She asked me if my marriage was everything I wanted it to be at any point.  She asked me if I ever felt like it was the dream that I had intended it to be.  My answer was no.  I could not pin point any moment of romantic bliss.  I couldn't even tell her a moment when we were truly happy.  We were both forcing it.  Her response was "Don't say you will never get married again because you will meet someone who does fit that description.  He will sweep you off your feet and he will be everything you dreamed of".  Why had that never occurred to me?  The hopeless romantic that I am and I dismissed such a possibility so quickly. Someone who read my blog recently sent me a quote- "Expectations
are followed by resentment".  I'm very much aware of this but if we don't place expectations in our lives then we will never hold people accountable to their potential.  We all want the same things in life.  We are all really the same in essence.  We may have different circumstances and interests but ultimately we all want to love and be loved.How hard is it to rise to those expectations? I'm starting to question people's motives far more often than before.Don't we all deserve a fair chance until we mess it up? We are all paying for our own mistakes in life.  We shouldn't have to pay for someone elses. It doesn't matter how jaded our hearts are. We should allow someone else the opportunity to prove themselves. I've always said love is the emotion that can break us and heal us. There will be men who have one thing on their mind.  They will be master manipulators.  They will tell me everything I want to hear.  I will fall hard.  I will hit the ground.  I will break.  I will cry.  I will question it. Then I will get up.  I will dust myself off and I will heal.  I will be stronger.  I will soak in the wisdom the circumstance gave birth to.  I will love again.  We can't be afraid of the fall.  It won't kill you unless you allow it to.  I'm a strong southern belle.Heartache is my middle name. No one knows the emotions that I feel.  No one knows the pain I've felt.  No one knows the tragedies I've suffered through.  No one knows because I smile.  I move on.  I'm a farmer's daughter.  Crops fail from time to time but you have to be prepared.  You have to know that there is always a tomorrow. If you lie down and become a victim then you are.  You have to pick yourself up and view it as an opportunity to start fresh. If only life had a reset button we could push. It doesn't and I wouldn't.  Everything I've been through has led me to where
I am today.  I have two beautiful sons who are my life.  I have a thirst for true love.  I have values and manners.I have a need to serve others.  That is what makes me happy.  One day God will bless me with a man that will respect me and treat me like I've always dreamed of.  He will be the leader of my home and I will bless him with the sweetest kisses everyday for the rest of our lives.  That is called hope.  Until all hope is lost we keep on living and we keep on smiling.  Today may be the day that my hero comes calling.