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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

My future relationship

For the first time in my life I really feel comfortable being alone.  I've always been a little on the codependent side and I'm determined to break that cycle.  I think its important to truly be happy alone so you don't feel like your world revolves around another individual.  Im comfortable in my skin.  I know what I love to do and what makes me happy.  I know what I'd want in a relationship.  I know what I don't want.  I think having these clear understandings allows another person the ability to decide if you are compatible with them.  People who arent truly happy tend to conform to what others want and need.  They become like the people they are pursuing.  I don't like that.  I want to explore new things with the person I will be dating.  I want to learn from them and experience new things with them. If you do the same things and like the same things then what do you have to talk about. Relationships should be about sharing your life with someone else. It's always important to have common interests so dont get me wrong but I don't like someone who cant think for themselves.  Confidence is so attractive.  I'm finding that I have no filter when it comes to telling people what I want in life and who I am.  I am a Southern Belle redefined who has bruises. We all do.  I'm very contradicting.  Im jealous when I like someone.  I get my feelings hurt but I will never tell you because I don't nag.  I'll just hide that little sting I feel and never let you see my chin quiver.  I'll make sure that I remember details and surprise you so you always feel special.  I'll want to hear that you care about me all the time just cause Im needy like that.  I want to always be courted and treated like Im the only girl in the world to you.  I will always be honest and I will never cheat because I fear that most in my life.  I know that feeling of helpless pain and it leaves scars that never heal.  I will tell you that you don't have to send me flowers or do sweet things...IM BEING MODEST. I want those sweet things.  If you snap at me or raise your voice I will cry. Lets just put that out there right now Im tender hearted.  I pretend like Im all cool and Im hard but Im fragile and I break.  You just never know it.  I want to do simple things with someone who means a lot to me.  I don't need cruises and vacations.  I don't need or want jewelry and expensive gifts.  I only want your time and attention.  If I act like a brat then call me out on it and don't let me.  Grab me and kiss me and tell me to shut my face.  I just need someone who is going to love me regardless of what I do.  Thats how I love....in spite of.  When love is a choice then it's real.  You can love anyone in the world but you choose to love me.  Who can deny a smile derived from that? With all that being said there must be attraction, chemistry, passion and effort...if everything doesnt line up then its not going to work. I have faith its out there and when I find it I hope he isnt too stupid to let it go. Just sayin.